Monday, May 31, 2010


Taken the beginning of May, '10..................... Taken August, '09.

Me, now.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Shopping. It used to be an exercise in futility. Searching for pants that didn't make my back-side look huge was a chore. It was impossible mission. You can't make a large butt look small by putting jeans or any other type of pants on. And what's worse, when you have to buy pants in "plus sizes", they don't re-design them for bigger bodies. The workers in the sweatshops that put together the pieces, do just that. They assemble pieces. And the same size pockets that go on the size 3 jeans, also go on the wide rear end of the size 22s. So it only accentuates your worst feature. Someone watching you walk down the street in a pair of jeans like that is going to think you sat on a couple of postage stamps, and they stuck. Bigger sized clothes are just not designed to flatter a bigger body. The designers have their work cut out for them!
Since losing weight, I've been going to thrift stores, and discount clothing stores, buying one piece at a time, just to hold me over until I get into the next size. But yesterday, I decided to go shopping at the mall and use up the gift cards that my Bunna has so thoughtfully given me for holidays and other occasions.
I had two cards for Dillard's, so I went looking for pants that fit. And I hoped to find a top or two that didn't hang to my knees or have its shoulder seams hit me mid-arm. I wasn't sure which size I should be looking for, so I befriended the girl in the sportswear department, and had her size me up.
I started by taking size L into the dressing room. It was an Addidas capri set with a cute pink top. I was surprised that it fit, but the capri length is not for me. It feels like my legs are cut off at the knee, and it is not at all flattering. PASS!
Next I tried on a pair of 14 stretch jeans. It's so hard to find anything in a long length, that when I do, I want to stock-pile it! The jeans fit fine, but I already have two pair of thrift store jeans in my closet that are size 14, and didn't cost me $68 each. I'll just wait until I can fit better into those.
At the end of the day, I had picked up three cute printed t-shirts from the junior dept, perfect for summer days. They are all size xl, but a junior xl is not the same as a women's 1x. Also, a new bra. Hallelujah! I didn't try it on at the store, but when I got home I checked it out under one of my new t-shirts. Perfect. My cup size has gone down a bit, but I've gone from wearing a 44 to a 38 again. Whew. My shape is returning! And shopping is fun again! :-)
Weighed myself this morning, and have lost 62 lbs. That's three lbs since last Saturday. A good week, for sure! Only 24 left to go!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Who do I look like now?

My exercise has been weak, to say the least, over the past couple weeks. Maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's just that I'm feeling lazy. I'll get my mojo back soon, and the weight loss will be kicked up a notch.
In the meantime, I'm down another pound, so I've lost an even 60. Only 26 left to go!
I got warned yesterday by a co-worker, jokingly, that I'd better not get "anorexic". Ha! Can you imagine?? ME? Obviously, that would be bad. But I can't help but feel like that was a compliment, considering all the categories of eating disorders I could have been in. Anorexia? Too funny.
One other co-worker told me I was "whittling away to nothing". Hmm. I'm not quite seeing that, but compared to my old self, I suppose it seems that way to some people. I'm definitely much smaller, and have also been told I "look like a different person". Interesting. Who do I look like NOW?? :-)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Goal in Sight!

As of May 4, I had lost 53 lbs. Then, on May 22, I had reached 59 lbs. That's 6 lbs in 18 days, so that's still on schedule. That's about a pound every 3 days, or 2 lbs a week. If I keep this up, (IF??) I'll hit my goal the week of August 22. Just in time to celebrate with a corn dog at the state fair! No worries... I'll keep it to one... or two. :-)

Saturday, May 22, 2010


I should have taken measurements when I started this... I know what my waist was, because I had just ordered new uniform pants in a certain size, and they fit fine. But I don't know my bust and hip measurements from back then.
I'll tell you now, that this morning, I measured those things. And although I am not nearly the hourglass silhouette that I plan to be in a couple months, at least now I'm into somewhat normal numbers.
This morning, I measured my bra line at 36". I measured my waist at 35". And I measured my hips at 43". Not quite supermodel measurements, but my Mama Cass apple-shape is gone. Whew. What a relief.
Oh, and that water weight that I had been fighting all last week? GONE, thank you very much. Weighed this morning, and found that I have lost a grand total now of 59 lbs. Only 27 lbs away from my goal. When I reach that goal weight, I'll re-evaluate. I might want to continue losing until I can wear a sassy size seven! :-)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ski Pants

There have been lot of reasons over the years to begin a weight loss plan. I've had health issues, back problems, and my self-esteem started to shrink. Most recently, as a Christmas gift, my boyfriend gave me a new pair of ski pants. I don't ski, but we do go tubing. Normally, I just wear jeans.
Last summer, I told my son that I would start skiing with him again. I thought I could handle it. It didn't occur to me that being out of shape and a plus size would make it a little difficult. I was going to try it anyway, for my son. So at Christmas, I opened the new ski pants. They were a men's XL, and when I held them up, I could see they were too small. Suddenly, I realized... either I return these for the XXXL size, or make myself fit into them. My son would be counting on me to get up to the slopes with him.
Those ski pants actually sat on the top shelf of my closet until just recently. In the back of my mind I knew I'd need to make a decision about them. They were too expensive to just let collect dust. I finally decided to keep them. After a few weeks into this new eating plan, I realized that those ski pants would fit soon. The tags are still on them, and guess what. They're nearly too big now. I've lost a few inches on my backside and my waist, and they are finally comfortable. When I first put them on, they wouldn't go over my hips. I was a few sizes larger then. They're a men's XL, and they have, I'd say a 38 inch waist. The waist is too big, but the hips and legs fit. Men's clothes are built a little straighter, with less curve around the hips, so it's understandable why they fit me that way. But they're totally usable now. I would be completely comfortable spending a day in them.
I've got other clothes that are close to fitting me, too. Some I've saved for the past 10 years, just as a reminder of what size I need to be. Actually, reaching my goal will make me smaller than I was 10 years ago, and those clothes will finally be tossed out. They'll be too big! :-)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Water Weight

I've reached that point in the month where I'm stalled with my weight loss. Every month, I seem to bounce up and down 1 or 2 pounds, and I'm sure it's from water weight. Once I get to my goal weight, these little fluctuations won't bother me, I'm sure. But for now, it's so frustrating to not only be unable to lose a pound, but for the scale to actually say a pound or so more than the previous day!
I'm eating the same amount of calories, so I know it's got to be water weight. I make a conscious effort to have a calorie deficit every day... that is, I burn more than I eat. If I'm willing to have a day with no loss, even a few tenths of a pound, then I'll allow myself a few more calories, and it will be considered a "maintenance" day. I deserve one of those once in a while, since I'm almost 2/3's of the way to my goal weight.
On a "maintenance" day, I'll agree to have a thin crust pizza from Papa Murphy's. It's so good! It calms my cravings for something gooey and savory. That's my true comfort food.
In the meantime, I'm still having my 100 calorie snacks, right on schedule. Still loving my Eggbeaters in the morning, and my mini-Clif Bars. I could live on this food! And I suppose, to some extent, for a long time to come, I will. :-)

Monday, May 17, 2010


Patience is not my long suit. I can't be bothered by things that take too long, and I hate being inconvenienced.
I knew when I started this "diet" that it would work, and that it would be a lifestyle change, so there was no question in my mind that I would continue to eat according to the plan I had come up with. It was a no brainer. If I ate less sugar and carbs, and more fiber and fruit, I would lose weight. There was no way it wouldn't work. The difference between how I was eating before and how I am eating now is like night and day.
So I knew I was on the right path when I started eating right. And I also knew it wouldn't happen over night. I have been accused of being impatient. Really? ME? I can't tell you how many times people have had to remind me, "Rome wasn't built in a day!"
I'm losing at a steady pace, and although it's not super-fast, it is coming off at a healthy rate. So I know it's just a matter of time. So far, I've lost 56 lbs.
Patience, Grasshopper. You can't build Rome in a day, but you can have the body of a Roman Goddess in another 4 months!

Friday, May 14, 2010

I've seen the light!

What's an "addictive personality"? You hear that all the time, and yet, how is it defined?
I was a smoker for a lot of years. I quit when I became pregnant with my son, and never really had any withdrawals. I think in my case, I smoked because I just didn't care enough about the state of my health. It was easy to quit because first of all, I wasn't that addicted to the nicotine, and secondly, I had a much more important goal in mind.
It's the same with the food. For a lot of years, I've been oblivious to the damage the food was doing to me. High blood pressure, varicose veins, cholesterol issues, bad skin and hair, digestive problems... the list goes on. If anything, I was addicted to the laziness of eating poorly, but I don't think I was addicted to the food itself. So easy to get a quick meal at a restaurant, and not pay attention to the quantity and quality of the actual food.
I could have started eating healthier years ago, but I was young, and thought I was immortal. It was always in my mind to get healthy... someday. Finally that more important goal appeared in my mind like the light at the end of a tunnel. I started moving forward, and haven't looked back. I finally saw the light!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Body Fat %

So this morning, I weighed myself and have lost 55 lbs. Only 31 to go!
My current BMI is 29, and according to the Body Fat Calculator, I'm at 38%. I think when I started this, my fat % was almost half my body weight! I think it was around 46%. Yikes!
When I look back at previous entries, I see that I had lost 50 lbs on April 28. So here it is 13 days later, and I've lost another 5. So I'm staying right on track. I like knowing that I am consistently losing that 2-3 lbs per week, and I have no problem with that. But I think I need to reevaluate some things, and work harder.
For one, I am still using too much salt. Granted, when I was eating tons of processed foods, there were many more milligrams of sodium entering my body. I do salt my veggies, and my chicken, but I could cut back there.
Also, I don't think my water intake is where it should be. My goal is 64 oz a day, and currently, I'm probably only getting an average of 50 oz. I need to make sure I'm getting a couple more glasses of water in the morning. And when summer comes, I'll need to nearly double my current intake, since I'm out in the sun most of the day.

The other thing I'm wondering about is my blood pressure meds. When my doctor prescribed my pills, I was 55 lbs heavier. At what point do you need to see the doctor and have your medications reevaluated? I currently take Hydrochlorothiazide, plus Atenolol. The first one is also a diuretic, and the second one really keeps my pressure down. But I've also noticed that my resting heart rate is around 60, and I'm not sure if that's normal. I suppose I need to get in for a check-up. My doctor can answer all these questions for me, and she'll be so proud of the weight loss, too!

Saturday, May 8, 2010


I'm not a carrot lover. Not raw carrots, anyway. But steamed, or out of the pressure cooker? Mmmm... I think I could live on them. So delicious!
We went to the Outback for dinner tonight to celebrate Bunna's mother's birthday, and also Mother's Day. I ordered the grilled chicken, and asked for the "lite" option. I'm not sure what they do to it to make it "lite", but they claim it stays under 500 calories. It didn't taste as though anything had been taken away. It was wonderful! It was served with a green salad, and steamed veggies. The broccoli was bright green, and tender. And the carrots... to die for! I swear they tasted like candy! So sweet. Mmm.
The server brought a plate of cheesecake for Bunna's mother, and she passed it around. I took a spoonful, but made it last. :-) I think I got three small bites from that spoonful. The berry sauce was so good!
Tomorrow, I'll weigh and see how I'm doing. Even with the meal out tonight, I think my calories for the day were still under about 1100. The fact that I was full before my plate was empty is a good sign.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


It's time I start opening up with my friends about my weight. Eventually, people will see me around, and notice the change in me. So why not spill my guts here and now?
Hmmmm... maybe not. LOL I don't think I'm ready to spill it all quite yet. But I'm sharing with more people, so that's a start, right? I'll share more details when I've reached my goal, but in the meantime, it's enough for me to know that I'm not hiding anymore.
All my weight issues are in the past, and although I'm still dealing with all the reasons I became buried in extra fat, at least now I'm working on it. Without shelling out thousands of dollars on therapy, I'm getting to the bottom of it, literally.
Sharing with the people around me can only help. If someone that reads this gains a little insight, and shares with someone they know, then I've helped. Face it, we all know someone that could benefit from a bit of encouragement and guidance.
Thanks for following me. Thanks for encouraging me. Thanks for not making fun of me (to my face) when I was as big as a house. :-)
BTW... I've lost 54 lbs now.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"Ride me... ride me..."

Where's summer? Winter dragged out so long, and now spring is taking its time settling in. We've had only a couple of warm days, and so much rain and cold.
I'm looking forward to going outdoors in the sun. I'm tired of these four walls.
I work outside, so it's not like I'm trapped in a building all the time, but what I'm waiting for is for a warm day where I can pull out the bike.
A month or so ago, my bike tried to give me a message. The hook it was hanging on in the garage pulled out of the wood it was screwed into, and the bike came tumbling down. It was like my little red cruiser was trying to say... "ride me...ride me..." I promised my bike I would go for a ride as soon as the weather warmed up, but that hasn't happened yet.
Last summer, riding my bike with my son, he mentioned that my back tire looked flat. We stopped and checked it, and, no surprise, it was full of air. But when I sat on the bike, it was a different story. My weight on the tires flattened them out. Can you imagine?
My cruiser is a heavy-duty bike. It's got a big, heavy frame, and fat, white-walled tires. It's red, like the Pee-wee Herman bike, and I love it. But after my son said that my tire looked flat, I realized that even my big, strong bike was struggling to hold me. I didn't feel comfortable riding after that. I didn't want to be on a ride away from home and realize that my tires actually were flat, from the strain they were under.
Anyway, this year I'll be happy to take my little, red cruiser for a ride. I'll sit proudly on the big, wide seat and wear my mushroom-head helmet. My son might make fun of me, but it won't be for having flat tires this year!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Thirty-three to go!

May 4, 2010. Today, I've lost 53 lbs. That leaves me with only 33 more to go! I wasn't sure if my goal was going to put me into the "healthy" range, but I double-checked this morning, and I will be healthy, and hopefully in a size 9-11 when I'm done losing.
A size 11 is good for me. I can't remember ever being a 9, but I remember being jealous of the little girls that got to shop at the "5-7-9" shop at the mall. There was no such thing as an "11-13-15" shop! :-)
Thirty-three to go... that's awesome! I love knowing that I'm so close! And knowing that I won't go back to where I was... that's important to me. I have no problem at all parting with my larger clothes. And I love that even at the size I'm in now, I look so much better!
And I notice the difference in how I move. There's so much less of me to haul around! On those weight loss shows, they always strap a heavy backpack onto the backs of the contestants, that is equal in weight to what they lost. They like to remind the losers what it was like before they made the commitment to health. How would I feel with 53 lbs on my back? Ugh. What a huge difference this has made in how I feel about moving. A simple walk that used to feel like it was an effort is now JUST A SIMPLE WALK. The lightness I feel is great! And it's only going to get better!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Gravy is not a beverage.

Growing up in a family of 10 meant lots of meals, and lots of food on the table. Mom had her work cut out for her when it came to making sure the four food groups were all represented at the table.

Mom was, and still is, very conscious of what she eats. As kids, she tried to make sure the snacks we ate were healthy. The type of snack she had on hand for us were always multi-grain, high fiber and low sugar. But with eight kids, how could she watch everything? We'd collect change from bottle deposits and fill our pockets with gum, Jolly Ranchers, and chocolate from the little market down the street. But back then, we were all very active. The neighborhood was alive with young kids our age, and no one ever sat around playing video games. It was all about the bikes, skateboards, stilts, unicycles, etc. If anything, I was less active than the rest. I was the youngest, and didn't quite fit into the older kids' groups. That's no excuse though. I loved the gravy just like my dad.
Dad had to have his gravy, and Mom always found a way to get it on the table with every meal. If she didn't make biscuits, then there was a stack of white bread slices to pass around. Everyone had their bread and gravy with dinner. And Dad was the one that would eat anything, regardless of what the latest doctor's reports said. Fat not good for you? Bullsh*t! Dad would be sitting at the head of the dinner table mumbling about how we didn't know what was good for us. "Pass that down here if you're not going to eat it!" The fat and gristle from steaks would go to his plate, and he'd enjoy every bite. The funny thing is, as he and Mom got older, her cholesterol went up, and his remained in a healthy range. She ate everything right, and fought her HDL/LDL levels, and he would have a 1/2 lb of bacon and his was just fine. Dad was also never overweight. He worked hard and stayed slim. Genetics, right?
So we, as kids, got a taste, so to speak, of both worlds. Mom ate right, and fed us all a balanced diet of Wheat Thins and Whole Wheat Fig Newtons. We also watched her, and sometimes joined in, as she followed Jack LaLanne on television. She bought the exercise equipment he sold, and kept herself fit. I think Mom was a size 3 most of her life. She's still in great shape, and she's coming up on her 80th birthday! Go Mom!
Dad, God rest his soul, was not big on health food. It took an act of God for Mom to be allowed to bring low-fat milk into the house. He wanted his whole milk, and his sour cream and gravy. When Mom went to the grocery store, she brought home fruit and vegetables, and whole grains. When Dad went to the store, he came home with Fun-Paks of chips for lunches, Ho-hos, Twinkies, Moon Pies, and "Astro Sticks"... (it was the late 60s).
Now, as an adult and mother, I can look back and compare my parent's different styles of eating. Mom was thinking of our health, and our future health. Dad ate what tasted good, and damn the consequences. I've got a little of both of their philosophies ingrained in me.