Thursday, April 29, 2010

It's official. I'm a dork.

Yesterday, I started moving stuff around in my closet again. For some reason, maybe because I don't want to leave myself with a bunch of empty hangers, I've been hanging onto some of my bigger clothes. I've been hesitant to get rid of everything that I've been wearing for the last few years, not because I'm uncertain of my progress, but maybe because I still have that fear of gaining it all back? That's an awful thought! But what are the odds? So many people have lost a lot of weight, and then gained it back. I'd like to think that the ones that gain it back never really had a grip on the problem in the first place. I hope over the last three months, I've identified my issues, and dealt with them. I've seen the light! And I hope to never go back to that dark place again! As of today, I've lost 51 lbs.
So today, and over the next few days, I'll gather up stuff to get rid of. I'll box everything up, and put it in the garage, and let that be the "transition" time for my stuff before I donate it all. Those fat clothes have been there for me for a long time. Baggy jeans, over-sized t-shirts, long sweaters that cover my large back-side... they helped me hide. They were my allies in the war against facing people.
But I'm back to wearing jeans that fit! I've picked up a few cute girly tops that can be tucked in, and I have belts that fit and that don't cut into my stomach when I bend over! No more sweats! No more of anything that doesn't help distinguish me from a man! Girl clothes, please! And lots of 'em!
I tried on a dress last night that had been hiding in the back of my closet. I've had a hard time parting with it, even though it's been too small for many years. I slipped it over my head, zipped it up, and stared in the mirror. It fit! I happy-danced and skipped into my son's room, jumping up and down.
"It fits! I haven't worn this since you were three!"
My 13 year old fashion critic just looked at me, and nodded his approval. I think he's proud of his old mom... but he still thinks I'm a dork. :-)

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