When I was 17, I weighed 170 lbs. I wore a size 11, and I didn't feel heavy. I remember feeling like I was bigger than my friends, and I worried about that, but I didn't feel fat.
I had been chubby my whole childhood. But now at age 17, I felt like I was an average size, and was happy with my weight, for the most part. That is, until my then boyfriend made a deal with me that changed my view of myself.
There were a pair of boots that I really wanted. They were the really sexy ones... thigh high, with super high heels. I had seen them in a catalog... probably Frederick's. So I had never tried them on, and I had no idea if they would fit my legs or whether or not I'd look like a couple of stuffed sausages.
Anyway, I never got the chance. They were expensive boots, and I couldn't afford them. My boyfriend told me, "I'll buy them for you if you lose 30 lbs." Ugh. There went my dreams of the new boots, and at the same time my self-esteem was shattered. I thought he liked my shape! I thought he thought I was fine! Apparently, not.
I never got the boots, and I've always thought about them. Not because I would wear them these days, but because I never got the chance. Silly, right? Crazy the things that shape our poor, impressionable minds.
Today is Wednesday, March 24th, and I've lost 36 lbs.